To Mass or Not To Mass?

April 28, 2007 at 12:11 pm (Family, Friends and Guests, The Ceremony, Wedding planning, maronite)

You have a choice of ceremony in the Catholic Church: With Mass, or without Mass.  I remember a few years ago when I was talking about marriage, one guy said, “Oh man, you’re Catholic so you’re probably gonna have a 3 hour service.”  Indeed, Catholic weddings are known for their length despite the fact we usually have a brief Sunday service in comparison with other Christians.

This past Monday we visited with our priest in Cincinnati, Father Salim, to discuss the plan for our wedding (crowning) ceremony.  All three of us are not fans of a lot of fluff  (the unity candle makes me gag) so we have the nuptials down to about a half an hour with minimum audience participation including a few “amens” and response chants.  With pictures and all, Fred and I would probably get to the reception by 7:45 at the latest.

But what about Mass?

The Maronite liturgy is a bit longer than the Latin/Roman Rite.  It is beautiful as the majority is chanted in Syriac and the service is the closest to how the Mass was originally celebrated. By doing the Mass, the ceremony has the potential to be an hour and 15.  Is that a problem?  Not really.  However, of the 125 or so people who are attending, less than half are Catholic.  While we are announcing the marriage to our parish over the next three weeks (banns) and many will probably come out of curiosity, not to mention the stray Maronite who would love to take part in a full Mass, we are undecided.

The marriage takes place in the first part of the service so the last half may have some guests enthralled and others snoozing in their seats wondering when the whole thing will be over so they can hit the bar. While we want to share this rich and meaningful tradition with our friends and family, it may not be the most appropriate venue – as my mother says, “the wedding is about the wedding.” On the other hand, communion is very important to Fred and me and what better time to have it then during the nuptials? Having heard how fast the entire thing goes, I think we both want to extend the day as long as we can. But of course, we may be so “dewey eyed” that we will be anxious to get started celebrating too.

According to the Church you only need two sacraments (marriage contract and blessing), not three (communion) so there is no right or wrong choice, it is purely preference. So the choice is up to us. We will let you know.

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Thunder Over Louisville Recap

April 25, 2007 at 3:53 pm (Date, Engagement, Friends and Guests, Holidays)

From time to time, we like to have a guest writes on our blog.  We would like to share a little something that was sent to us by Julie, author of the blog http://lifeofrosie.blogspot.com/.

I was out road-tripping last week and visited him in Louisville, where I found him not only alive but doing VERY well.  He’s got a wonderful woman, three cool cats, and a freelance writing career that’s really
taking off, yay Fred!!!  Jaclyn owns a fabulous condo in the heart of downtown, with a rooftop deck where we watched part of the air show. They also have an awesome little bistro right across the street where we had
the most excellent dinner.  I have to miss their wedding next month because I’ll be traveling in Europe, so I’m really glad I got this chance to see them.  Fred took me to see their reception site and it’s very cool.  I’m sure everyone who is able to attend will have a great time. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy the photos!

By the way, for those of you keeping up, Thunder was supposed to be our original wedding day.  As we are now, we are 30 days and counting.  Oh my!


 

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Milwaukee

April 20, 2007 at 11:09 pm (Engagement, Family, Friends and Guests, Wedding planning)

Fred did not want to mention this for fear of many friends being mad, so I will give the update.

Last weekend we went up to Milwaukee to get the rest of Fred’s belongings out of storage.  We got in Friday night and stayed with Fred’s friends Rick and Elsa, loaded up the van Saturday, had dinner with his buddy Nereus that night, then were back to the ‘Ville Sunday morning.  Fred really wanted to see everyone, but there was no time.  He did not even get to have a cup of coffee at Altera which he had been looking forward to the whole time. 

The good news is, while we may have missed a bunch of folks up there, most of them will be coming to the wedding and can give him the guilt trip there.  I may even grab the Delta Chi paddle for people to spank him with - ever since we got it home we have been chasing each other around the house yelling “pledge!”

And for the record, yes Fred, your couch is better then mine.

P.S. A word of advise – if anyone out there needs to haul a moderate amount of stuff around the country, get a cargo van from Enterprise.  They are roomy, easy to drive, and beat the heck out of the mean scam artists at U-Haul. 

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Wedding Disaster (okay, annoyance) Number One

April 10, 2007 at 8:49 pm (Family, The Ceremony, Wedding Dress, Wedding planning)

So far I have managed not to be a bridezilla.  Sure there have been a couple of arguments, but none of them have degenerated into all out shouting and foot stomping.

It still hasn’t, but I almost had a moment today.

I had my flower girl’s dress picked out the day Lucky ordered her bridesmaids dress. It was a cute little silk-satin number in a pearl color with a cinnamon sash and matching flowers on a raised bustle.  It would have looked adorable and matched Lucky’s dress.   I said “order a 4T and call it done!”  Unfortunately, my niece lives in Atlanta and neither her parents nor my mother wanted to commit to a size without measuring her.  Well, the measurements didn’t happen. Not for 2 months. And now it is too late to get the dress.

I am miffed.

But she is a cutie and will look good in anything.  Mom picked out this as an alternative because it was one of the only one’s we could get in time. Even though it is in all white an will not match anything, I guess it is okay.  I just hope this falling through is not a sign of things to come.

I have had two sets of “nightmares” lately.  The first is that there is no music at the reception and the room is trashed from a party the night before.  The second is that there is no food and the museum won’t allow us to bring in a hot dog roller as an alternative.  Fred had a dream the photographer didn’t show up and we had to give his little brother our point-and-shoot Sony digital.

In the real world, we still don’t know who is going to marry us or how the ceremony is going to go.  The musicians have not been able to practice because the music is not picked out yet and they cannot get into the church to practice until (the day before?) the wedding.  I have not been in contact with the reception site, photographer, florist, or DJ since signing the contracts so I am not sure how this whole thing is supposed to be orchestrated.  Fred has still not gotten his passport for the honeymoon.  And I can’t shake the feeling I am forgetting something huge.

The wedding is 45 days away.  

My breathing has become noticeably more shallow.

 Would you please all join me in taking a big, deep breath.

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Our eHarmony anniversary

April 4, 2007 at 7:29 am (Already divorced, American Idol, Blogroll, Cats, Date, Engagement, Family, Food, Friends and Guests, Gift Registry, Holidays, Honeymoon, The Ceremony, Wedding Dress, Wedding Invitations, Wedding Reception, Wedding planning, maronite, married)

As many of you know, Fred and Jaclyn met on eHarmony – our anniversary “match day” is April 4, 2005 (although we didn’t actually “talk” until the 17th).  We figured it would be amusing to go through the old profiles and communications and we decided to share them on the blog.   These are the unedited profiles required by eHarmony – we hope you get a kick out of them.  We were going to insert our own snide comments, but we figured we would leave that up to our readers.  Enjoy!

 FRED    Occupation: Writer    Age: 26    Height: 5′ 10″   Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic    Match Created: April 04, 2005
Religion: Christian    Want Kids: Yes   Drinks: About once a week    Smokes: Never

The one thing Fred is most passionate about:   I am a proud American who believes in family values. I also appreciate just everyday people. I believe in being optimistic even in tough times. And of course, my friends are a very important part of my life. I guess, all and all, I am a very passionate person.

The three things which Fred is most thankful for: Family, Friends, 1970s music

The most influential person in Fred’s life has been: Grandpa. Because of his work ethic and the way he treated grandma.

Fred’s friends describe him as: Ambitious, Loyal, Funny, Physically Fit

Three of Fred’s best life-skills are: Keeping physically fit, Using humor to make friends laugh, Finding new adventures and unique experiences

The most important thing Fred is looking for in a person is: Somebody who cares for others, and isn’t self centered. I want a person who is secure and likes to laugh.

The first thing you’ll probably notice about Fred when you meet him: My wit and humor.

The one thing Fred wishes MORE people would notice about him is: The way I care for others.

Fred typically spends his leisure time: I like to run, read and kayak or swim.

The things Fred can’t live without are: Water, Beer, Running shoes, Bike, Sushi

The last book Fred read and enjoyed: Not really sure. I read 40 books in the last year, but the one that really sticks out is “False Memory” by Dean Koontz. My all time favorite is Crime and Punishment. Love the classics.

One thing that only Fred’s best friends know is: I have my mother’s hips (inside joke).

Some additional information Fred wanted you to know is: My favorite color is blue.

JACLYN  Occupation: Nursing Student and Acupuncturist (Doctor of Oriental Medicine)   Age: 27   Height: 5′ 1″   Ethnicity: Other   Match Created: April 04, 2005  Religion: Spiritual, but not affiliated with a religious group                  Want Kids: Yes   Drinks: A few times a year   Smokes: Never
 

The one thing Jaclyn is most passionate about: I am most passionate about both physical and spiritual health, healing, and truth. Though my education in Oriental and allopathic medicine, religious studies, and yoga, I feel that every medical and spiritual path contains kernals of truth that connect us together.

The three things which Jaclyn is most thankful for: I enjoy both physical and emotional health, I am thankful for my family, I am thankful I can facilitate health in others

The most influential person in Jaclyn’s life has been: This is a difficult question as I have had so many crossroads in my life, but if I were to pick only one, I would choose my brother. Although we came from the same parents, the two of us have totally different dispositions. As the little sister, I always looked up to him and tried to emulate him, not knowing that he also felt a degree of envy and admiration for my character. As adults we have a deep respect and love for the other and cherish our differences. I learned from him the importance of being true to your individuality and the joy of cultivating diverse relationships.

Jaclyn’s friends describe her as:  Hard Working, Intelligent, Perceptive, Spiritual

Three of Jaclyn’s best life-skills are: Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness, Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis, Sharing my beliefs through teaching, participation, and example

The most important thing Jaclyn is looking for in a person is: Compatability! I want someone who is similar enough to myself so that we enjoy each other, but not so alike that we are dull together.

The first thing you’ll probably notice about Jaclyn when you meet her: My drive – most people can see my intelligence and dedication to my professional and personal pursuits.

The one thing Jaclyn wishes MORE people would notice about her is: My humor – some people find me intense or “proper” upon first impression and do not see how approachable (and sometimes silly) I am.

Jaclyn typically spends her leisure time: I enjoy yoga, reading, traveling, dancing, cooking, and conversing with friends.

The things Jaclyn can’t live without are: Faith, The Internet, Music, Laughter, Indoor plumbing

The last book Jaclyn read and enjoyed: The last book I read was Door Into Summer, a typical sci-fi Henlein story. A man freezes himself for 30 years into the year 2000, then travels back 31 years to clean up some loose ends, then re-freezes himself back to 2000. Everything worked out – of course. I enjoy most of his work, and this one was full of laughs and interesting gadgetry.

One thing that only Jaclyn’s best friends know is: Not for mass publication!

Some additional information Jaclyn wanted you to know is: “We are fortunate if we have worthy opponents, for they make us great.”

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American Idol: Sanjaya’s Last Night… Please.

April 3, 2007 at 8:20 pm (Wedding planning)

Tonight, Sanjaya did it again. He gave one heckuva performance, but sang like a drunken Canary. People, for the love of God, stop voting for him. I don’t care if Howard Stern plans to pay for your kid’s way through college…. This no-talent pretty boy cannot win. I wish American Idol would let you vote people off instead of voting for contenstants.

Once again, Lekesha, Melinda and Jordan kicked butt. But for me, the best performance was Blake Lewis. I thought he captured the Tony Bennet era and style better than any of the contestants. I was disappointed in Phil Stacy’s delivery, but that didn’t stop me from voting for him 10 times. As I’ve said before, he has the best man voice in the competition.

How about Haley Scarnato? Tonight’s performance reminded me of a Las Vegas Show Girl. No shame in that. 
The biggest surprise was Chris Richardson. He has a fun, energetic sound that was refreshing. But I don’t think his voice is better than Blake’s or Phil’s. 

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Hi, it’s me again. Meow.

April 1, 2007 at 3:06 pm (Cats)

Thurman
Somebody emailed me the other day and asked why my paws haven’t been typing lately. Apparently, a lot of you liked the post I did about mommy and daddy. Well, my apologies.

I’ve been sick. Daddy had to rush me to the emergency room last week, because I could not use the bathroom. With all the pet food recalls, he was really worried about me even though I didn’t eat or sniff any of that infected stuff.

I’d get in the litter box and it hurt when I tried to go. I was tough, though, and I kept trying. But nothing ever happened.

The doctor was really nice. She said I was the biggest kitty they’ve seen in a long time….and I had lost 5 pounds when she saw me. The vet weighed me at 19.5 pounds. Anyway, turns out I had a urinary tract infection. The doc says this sort of thing is real common in husky male kitties like me.

Because he wanted me to get better, daddy gave me gross medicine. He had to force open my jaw and shoot chalk-tasting liquid down my throat. Yesterday was my last day on the medicine. So I am better now, and I have to get back to my two jobs—writing and sleeping.

I just wanted to say meow, and I look forward to seeing you all at mommy and daddy’s wedding. Here are some pictures from recent weeks. As you can see, I’ve been working out.

 thurman on computer

Above and below: Here I am on deadline for a major magazine. Just like my daddy, I keep a dirty desk. This was a tough story to write. The editor liked it, though.

thurman_cat_4.jpg

Below: Now it’s been said that I’m just a whimp, ’cause I’m a writer. Well, how many whimps do you see with fangs like mine?

thurman_cat_2.jpg

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American Idol: Don’t Vote for Sanjaya

March 29, 2007 at 7:37 am (American Idol)

Every Thursday, I will write about American Idol, because I can’t let this no talent pretty boy win. If you have watched this show and have voted for Sanjaya, shame on you….because he can’t sing. All he can do is smile and make his hair look funny.

I’m a big fan of Phil Stacey. He will not win, but he has the best voice of the boys. What’s hurting him is his bald head. We white boys don’t look that good bald. But man, he can sing and he’s been toward the bottom twice now. And if he gets booted before Sanjaya, well, this country has lost its flippin’ mind.

My hands-down favorite, and Jaclyn’s, is LaKesha Jones. She’s a big girl with a whole lot of voice.  She, Melinda Doolittle and Jordan Sparks—a sweet 17-year-old full of spirit—have super talent. The winner should come from these three. 

But I have a feeling each one of them could lose to Blake Lewis.I don’t really like Blake. As I said, Phil Stacey is my favorite of the men. But I can at least tolerate him, whereas I want to drive a meat cleaver through Sanjaya’s skull he sings so badly. (Just a joke. No need to call the cops. I don’t even own a meat cleaver.). Blake reminds me of somebody who used a lot of X…. Look for a glow stick performance in the future.

***

Wedding date is Friday, May 25. Read this post for more information.

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Tux and stuff

March 24, 2007 at 3:28 pm (Engagement, The Ceremony, Wedding Dress, Wedding planning)

I ordered tuxes last week. And Jaclyn wasn’t with me.

“What are the wedding colors?” the tux lady asked.

“I don’t know. Red and black, I think,” I said.

“Do you know what her dress looks like? You shouldn’t, but do you?”

“I think it’s red.”

“What shade of red?”

“I didn’t know red had shades.”

“Well, I need something to go with. Is it a traditional wedding?”

“I guess so.”

“What do you want your tux to look like?”

“I don’t know.”

The lady helped me realize that all I cared about was Jaclyn. The tux and the colors and the other stuff mean nothing to me. But they mean something to her. That meant the tux couldn’t look stupid. 

“Simple,” I said. “And no bow ties. I want a regular tie. With a vest.”

“Colors?”

“Black and white. White tie. White vest. White shirt. And black everything else.”

I looked at one tux, liked it, and picked out my best man’s tux. It took me 30 minutes. I doubt Jaclyn’s dress shopping venture was that quick.

“Have your fiancé call me,” the lady said. “I want to make sure she likes everything we picked out.”

Jaclyn called her. And she changed the white to an “off” white—whatever the heck that means. I just know I’ve got to show up May 1 to get measured. I need to lose a few pounds before then, though.

***

Wedding date is Friday, May 25. Read this post for more information.

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New Nursing Job for Jaclyn

March 19, 2007 at 4:43 pm (Cats, Engagement, Wedding planning)

Today, Jaclyn started a new job with the University of Louisville Hospital. And I’m so proud of her. It was a big step for her, especially since she loved her old job at Ten Broeck hospital.

Since we’ve been together, I’ve really pushed Jaclyn to build her nursing career / acupuncture practice. I have talked her into blogging about acupuncture and creating a site for her practice. These tactics have been great marketing tools for her. But I’ve only just begun promoting her talents….She is so smart that she could do anything. But Jaclyn doesn’t always realize her potential. She is a doctor of Oriental medicine (acupuncture and herbology) and an RN. {Before she chose the medical field, Jaclyn was in theater and is listed in the film credits of one movie.}

I really believe Jaclyn could be one of the first acupuncturists to make a difference in mainstream medicine. And I think this new position will help her see this potential. UL Hospital is a great research facility and hopefully she can rub elbows with the right people.

Even if she doesn’t make the research leap, I am proud of her. She took a risk, got a raise and gets to wear scrubs every day. She’s happy. I’m happy. The cats are happy.

What’s more, earlier this year, she supported me when I went out on my own to start FredWrite.com. Now that the roles are reversed, I am glad to have been there for her. She told me a few weeks ago that I’m the first person she comes to for advice. Not her parents. But me. I think that’s probably the best compliment a future spouse could receive.

***

Wedding date is Friday, May 25. Read this post for more information.

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