For those of you who couldn’t make it, and for those who celebrated with us, the photos are on-line.  Go to http://www.digiproofs.com/ and type in ky5/25/07. 

Take a look at some of our honeymoon photos: Fred & Jaclyn Minnick Honeymoon. You can view more of my photography at FredPhoto.net.

I admit this is kind of a bogus post, but I feel it is only fair after the hours of calls,  meetings, debating, and decision making that we give a list of the people we chose to help put on our wedding.  I am feeling amazing zen in these final days and all of these folks are playing a large part in keeping me from going hysterical.   

Church:  St. Louis Bertrand (Should disaster happen, the church has 8 back-up priests!)

Priest: Father Anthony Salim (We will be one of his last weddings before he heads to Australia)

Reception: Slugger Museum  (Thanks to Cindy, Althea, and the curator who decided to put in the Charlie Brown exibit this month)

Photographer: N Focus Images (Men are allowed to make decisions! Fred picked photojournalist Wales Hunter to “document” our wedding) 

Caterer: Masterson’s (Sueanna Masterson really helped hone in the menu and look for the reception – I have been salavating all week)

Cake: The Sugar Woods (She is not just a baker, she is an artist)

Flowers: Aebersold Florist (Thank you Lana for convincing my mother to wear a corsage . . . and she yells at me for bucking tradition!)

DJ: Sounds Unlimited Production (A party is only as good as the music, and these guys provide an MC plus a DJ who also runs lighting.  They are so popular, they are already booking derby parties for next year!)

Ceremony Music: Jack Griffin (first chair violinist for the Louisville Orchestra), Tony Clemons (church organist), Amanda (flute playing work buddy of Jaclyn’s), Jamie (Fred’s cousin and future American Idol winner) 

Bridal Ware: Sher’s (my dress – Thank God for Jo Ann!), Rebecca’s Bridal Boutique (Lucky’s Dress)

If I have learned anything since planning this wedding, it is never to underestimate the limits of your friends’ perversions.

The theme of the party was “Good Night and Good Luck” – the guests were to bring something naughty for night or something nice for good luck.  When I walked into my mothers house the dining room was decked out in Chinese lanterns, red and gold Chinese coins, and (naturally) penis glitter.  There was also quite a spread of food in the kitchen, and I whipped up some mimosas to go along.

Most everyone arrived en masse.  Lucky came up with some cool games – toilet paper bride (if you thought there was competition on Project Runway, you haven’t seen anything),  how well do you know Jaclyn (Patricia won), blindfolded kiss Fred’s picture (nice job Robin), and guess who you are (too bad Susan didn’t know who Heidi Klum is).  She devised my own game of how well do you know Fred and blindfolded vacation makeover.  Then the gifts happened.

I am not sure if Fred and I will be able to use all of the licakble body paints before they expire, and the humidity in St. Lucia may make it difficult for the purple “love tape” to stick.  I am wonder if “love rope,” blindfolds, and tickle/spank sticks will make it through customs.  My grandmother, watching all of this, exclaimed, “wow, I really learned something today.”

Mom and I were sitting around after the party commenting that I could not have chosen a better maid of honor.  What a party!

The wedding is next week – we were going to do a pre-week anniversary post yesterday, but things got behind (imagine that!).

We wanted to ask our friends and guests for a suggestion of music they would like to boogie to. 

As you know, this is a fancy schmancie cocktail party and there will be plenty of ‘ol blue eyes and Tony Bennet going on.  For the later hour, we have some trash disco type music in mind.  We want people dancing and mingling . . . not doing the chicken dance or the electric slide.

 Please send us your suggestions and requests, and we look forward to dancing with you.

Fred Note: I’m answering Jaclyn’s call to post something meaningful for the first time in more than a month. My apologies for not writing sooner. I’ve been quite busy, which is a good thing because that means more money.

As many of you know, I’m an Iraq veteran—a title I’m very proud of. You may also know that I’ve had a tough time—and still do—readjusting. To understand the depths, read some of my old posts at In Iraq for 365.

Jaclyn has been the reason why I didn’t drink myself to death or sell my hot body to random Russian women at an African farmer’s market.

When we started dating, she listened to all my stories and over the phone, I read her my book, Camera Boy. At the time, I hated my job. (I went back to work way too early.) I even hated this country for how nobody seemed to know about what’s going on in Iraq. I drank constantly and didn’t look forward to anything… except talking to Jaclyn.

Sometimes, I’d call her and not remember. The next day, I’d start the conversation with “did I say anything stupid last night?” which I tend to do sober.

It’s not like Jaclyn came into my life and the nightmares, anxiety, frustrations and jumpyness went away. I still jump at loud noises and wake up fearing for my life, but instead of emptying every beer can in the fridge, I hold Jaclyn…and she talks in her “sweet voice” and I feel better.  But she sets limits, too, making sure that I don’t become dependent. (She is a mental health professional after all.)

I do have PTSD, a disorder that makes me feel and think things I cannot control, and it is caused by the trauma I experienced. Some people see combat and are able to resume a normal life. I couldn’t. Why is beyond me. I’m not ashamed and hate that a stigma is attached to it.

Nonetheless, Jaclyn has helped me become more stable and less focused on the troubling memories. She thwarts my deep anger—often triggered by Iraq War talks or random noises—with her undying emotional support and tender heart. They say for every great man is a great woman. Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever be great, but I know with Jaclyn by my side, I’ve got a shot.

I was reminded of how much I loved Jaclyn just a few seconds ago, when a former Iraq interpreter emailed me. He just received asylum in the United States and now resides in Washington. He kindly writes:

“How are you, I miss you, I am so happy to know about your wedding `congratulation`, I wished I can come to the party, but unfortunately my wife had a very bad time when we flew last time from Jordan to Seattle, she became very sick and it tooks long time till she became better. …Congratulation again and we wish you a happy new life.”

Thank you my friend. And welcome to America. We’ll send you our wedding pictures.

p.s. Enshallah 

As I write this, you are in the next room on an interview call.  I know you have about 20 articles to write before the wedding, but I fear that you are loosing your blogging audience.

Since your last real post, you have become Catholic, gone shopping for wedding rings, got out-fitted in your tux, and helped plan out a wedding ceremony, yet none of your adoring fans have had a chance to benefit from your witty commentary on these events.  We are getting married next Friday. Time is sliping away.  Your public is slipping away.  Your Homer slippers are slipping away.

Moreover, FredWrite.com links here  – what are all the potiental clients going to think when all they see is my chatter?

Please, write a post.

And I thank you. 

And they say men are bad…..

My bachelorette party coincided with a local holiday: Derby Eve.  More specifically, the annual Velcro Pygmies show at Phoenix Hill Tavern. 

Billed as the World’s Greatest Rock N Roll Force (and also known as the most embarrassing band ever to come out of Louisville despite the fact so many of the members have changed over that they are mostly from Alabama now), the Velcro Pygmies are one of the longest standing local bands that specialize in the immortal words of Poison, “Don’t Need Nothing But A Good Time.”  Actually, make that Kiss’s “I Want to Rock and Roll All Night, and Party Every Day!”

Playing rock hits from the 70’s to today, what makes these guys different is that they have a blast on stage and are fantastic showmen.  And yes, they have musical talent too.  They exude American pride and embrace the party spirit of the 80’s. Naturally, my best lady Lucky wanted to take me to the show for my last hurrah as a single gal.

Decked out in penis-laden beads, a bachelorette sash and a badge that read “pecker inspector,” I was treated to an on-stage serenade of “Purple Rain” by front man Cam, complete with dry humping and groping.  Did I mention that the show was broadcast via Internet on Aiir Radio?  What a way to be immortalized! 

After the show I got pictures taken with all of the band members and even had my chest signed by guitarist Robert (aka Delicious) and bassist Jason (aka Johnny Depp). 

Drummer Chris gave me a congrats hug, admired the ring, and when I told him Fred was as Iraq vet advised me to “hold onto that man, and you be there for him until the day he gets put in the box” . . . that sounded better with alcohol, really.

Lucky managed to get my lap dance on tape and has threatened to play it at the reception.  If that’s not incentive enough to come, I don’t know what is.

18 days and counting

In less than a month, we’ll be married. I can’t believe it’s so close.