Getting Married

My bachelorette party coincided with a local holiday: Derby Eve.  More specifically, the annual Velcro Pygmies show at Phoenix Hill Tavern. 

Billed as the World’s Greatest Rock N Roll Force (and also known as the most embarrassing band ever to come out of Louisville despite the fact so many of the members have changed over that they are mostly from Alabama now), the Velcro Pygmies are one of the longest standing local bands that specialize in the immortal words of Poison, “Don’t Need Nothing But A Good Time.”  Actually, make that Kiss’s “I Want to Rock and Roll All Night, and Party Every Day!”

Playing rock hits from the 70’s to today, what makes these guys different is that they have a blast on stage and are fantastic showmen.  And yes, they have musical talent too.  They exude American pride and embrace the party spirit of the 80’s. Naturally, my best lady Lucky wanted to take me to the show for my last hurrah as a single gal.

Decked out in penis-laden beads, a bachelorette sash and a badge that read “pecker inspector,” I was treated to an on-stage serenade of “Purple Rain” by front man Cam, complete with dry humping and groping.  Did I mention that the show was broadcast via Internet on Aiir Radio?  What a way to be immortalized! 

After the show I got pictures taken with all of the band members and even had my chest signed by guitarist Robert (aka Delicious) and bassist Jason (aka Johnny Depp). 

Drummer Chris gave me a congrats hug, admired the ring, and when I told him Fred was as Iraq vet advised me to “hold onto that man, and you be there for him until the day he gets put in the box” . . . that sounded better with alcohol, really.

Lucky managed to get my lap dance on tape and has threatened to play it at the reception.  If that’s not incentive enough to come, I don’t know what is.

18 days and counting